living in God's presence

I often catch myself thinking that I need to "come into God's presence" when I want to dialogue with him, experience what he has for me and so on. Of course when I quiet myself and put other thoughts and activities aside I feel that I am more fully in God's presence. Isn't that the same with other things and relationships too?

But God is always present. He is here and now and will always be. So what is there for me to "come into"? Isn't it more about me being aware of his presence and living in it? Yesterday I read these words in Deuteronomy:

"So now Israel, what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I'm commanding you today -- live a good life." (10:12-13)

What if I lived every day remembering that I'm always in God's presence? What if I remembered I am in his presence when I'm at work, when I'm running errands, when I'm interacting with my family or anyone else for that matter? Yesterday I started reminding myself at times that I am in God's presence. I even whispered it to myself a couple of times: "I'm in God's presence". Suddenly I feel like I should approach every situation with holy reverence. Even my thoughts are occurring in God's presence.

And then there's that last sentence in verse 13 that ends with "live a good life". It's part of what God expects from me. And living a good life means living it in his presence. What if we each did that today? What if even once today, we remembered to tell ourselves that we're living in God's presence? What would we notice? What might we do differently? How might we perceive our present situations?

-Candice

praying the prayer of another

For me, prayer is dialogue with God. Each dialogue is unique, sometimes clear and epic in nature, sometimes vague and ephemeral. I tend to think of dialogue needing to be "in my own words". However, I often pray through scripture, using the words I read as my own words to God, and reading the words as his words to me. I've prayed psalms as if they were my own. And the Lord's Prayer - a gift that each of us can claim. I've also prayed prayers written by others, aligning myself with the words and ideas expressed through their writing.

Recently I've been thinking of a prayer that I came across several years ago, and I prayed it regularly for a time, loving how it addressed each aspect of the Trinity. Today, finally I searched it, and when I found it, it was like a key unlocking a door in my memory bank. Memories of the time of life when I prayed this prayer daily. Who I prayed it with. How God revealed himself as Three in One to me at that time.

This prayer is by John Stott, pastor of All Souls Church in London.

Good morning heavenly Father. Good morning Lord Jesus. Good morning Holy Spirit. Father I pray that I may live this day in Your presence and please You more and more. Lord Jesus I pray that this day I may take up my cross and follow You. Holy Spirit I pray that this day You will fill me with Yourself and cause Your fruit to ripen in my life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Holy, blessed and glorious Trinity, three Persons in one God, have mercy upon me, Amen.

-Candice

there is not one without the other

"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 NLT

restore my soul

I love reading books that are rich in description both of setting and character. My mind creates images that often become a part of me as the story unfolds. This might sound lovely, but at times it is not. It seems that images of the unlovely are what stay with me (which is why I've also become very good at skimming as I read!) This has also led me to be rather selective in what I choose to open my mind to, because I know that once something's in there, it's hard to get it out!

The same goes with movies, just on a bit more of an intense level. Because now I'm exposed to images of someone else's making, with the soundtrack to go with it. Not that long ago, I went to a movie with a few other people. The heart of the theme really was redemptive violence. It was horrible and graphic. Even with my eyes squeezed shut and my fingers in my ears for most of the movie, some images still made their way into my mind, and continue to resurface and force me to deal with them.

In Romans 12:2 it says "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)
In a way that gives me comfort: if one of the patterns of this world is redemptive violence, then being highly sensitive to images and portrayals of that is a way of not accepting that pattern.

That still doesn't get awful images out of my head though. So one afternoon as I was going for a walk and again those images resurfaced and threatened to overtake my rational thinking, I held up some scripture in defense. I began to think through Psalm 23 (one of my meeting places) and I found myself repeating the words "he restores my soul". He restores my soul.

Restores: According to Webster, "to bring back to or put back into a former or original state: renew".

My soul: that part of me that is the essence of myself as God has created me and the place where I am in community with God through the Holy Spirit.

He restores my soul. I have this longing to be brought back to the original state of God's creation of my soul.

What if I asked for him to restore my soul on a daily basis? Or an hourly basis, because I can so quickly get off track? What if we each did that? Could we break the patterns of this world?

He restores my soul.

-Candice

new meeting place

Today I thought I wanted to listen to God. No actually I thought I wanted to talk to God. I have questions for him. I want to tell him what's going on inside my head. He obviously knows what's going on inside my head, even better than I do. Because these last couple of days, as I've been trying to sort out my thoughts to better cry out to him (how's that for trying to stay in control?!) he's been gently and consistently inviting me to ... sit and relax with him.

I have several meeting places in my heart that I can access when I pray. And I have not been going to any of those in the last while. It turns out God has been preparing another one for me. It speaks to the needs I have right now: warmth. Quiet. Intimacy. As I allow this image to be revealed inside my heart, and settle into it, he has been speaking to me. Scripture that has held meaning for me is resurfacing. I can speak out my questions. I can let loose what's been taking up so much space in my head.

And I'm waiting to hear what he has to say about all of this. For now I'm getting this image of intimacy and peace. I understand this to mean it's time for me to sit and experience what he has for me right now. It's a good image. Though I still have questions. I still long for clarity about my "stuff". But I can sit here with him. Because there's no place I'd rather be.

-Candice

the right way

I try to do the right thing. I usually know what it is, and want to do it. Often it's not big moral dilemmas, or really tempting situations, but mostly things that fall under the category of "obligation". Like how I care for my family and my home. How I relate to those around me. How I spend my time. There's usually a "right" response in every situation.

Doing the right thing is usually an easy choice. But the attitude I bring to it, or even the feelings I keep inside don't always necessarily match up with my choices and actions. So then am I still doing the right thing?

This morning I read these words in Isaiah 56: "Do what's right and do it in the right way". I went on to read the rest of the chapter, but my eyes continually went back to that line in verse 1. I take that to mean God has something he wants me to focus on there. As I asked him what he wants me to know today, I was also reminded of the words in 1 Corinthians 13. The whole chapter is worth reading through, but I was specifically brought to the idea that without love, I'm nothing.

What if I did the right thing and did it with love? Consistently, in every situation? How would that affect the way I do the right thing? For one thing, the word "obligation" would probably disappear. Wouldn't that be nice? And wouldn't those around me be touched by that love? The love that actually comes from the Father?

My prayer for myself today is that I do what's right and do it in the right way. He assures me he has enough love to cover it. What if we all prayed that today?

-Candice

boats that float

A few days ago, I wanted to engage in a prayer exercise I learned a while back: that of visualizing boats going by and putting my "stuff" on the boats, releasing them to float away. In a bit of a desperate moment, I took something that has been weighing me down lately, heaved it onto the boat ... and watched the boat sink. What was that about?! Disgusted and disappointed, I gave up on the exercise.

My inner monk craves discipline, chunks of time, silence, and solitude to engage in prayer. My present reality gives me just about everything but that. Is it possible to pray on the fly? (and be meaningful?) To be in constant dialogue with God? When it seems so "hit and miss", is it worth it? Does this have anything to do with that boat sinking?

I had the opportunity yesterday to ask God some of these questions. Actually I started by asking "why pray?" (just curious!) Almost immediately the response was: "yes, why pray?" So I thought about listening, about intercession, about the verse I've been claiming from Isaiah (see previous post), about answered prayer/unanswered prayer ... but the peace and light came when I settled with the idea of communication with God. I thought about my richest, most valuable relationships. Communication and time spent together is key to the closeness we experience.

And about those chunks of time vs praying on the fly? Well not all my interactions with those I'm in meaningful relationship with are deep and life-changing. Some are exchanges of information. Some are quick check-ins. But all are part of the relationship.

But I wanted to know one more thing: what about the boat that sank under my burden? Well it seems I manufactured that boat. I didn't ask for it to come from him. His boats don't sink. Right.

-Candice