via dolorosa

Holy Week for me this year was ... holy. What made it holy was reading and experiencing the story of Christ's passion from a new perspective. It was as if my eyes had been opened to an aspect I hadn't thought of before.

Each day of the week preceding Easter, when I read a portion of the story in scripture, I asked Jesus where I might find myself in the story. Often when I've done this, I've had an experience of picturing myself in the scene ... of seeing, hearing, smelling and feeling my way through the story. This time it was as if Jesus opened the story to who I am ... who he's made me to be.

My first stop was in the garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus prayed and the disciples fell asleep. When I read or hear this story, I'm usually a bit disgusted and less than understanding of the disciples. I mean really, they couldn't stay awake by their dear friend and master's side when he was clearly experiencing extreme anguish? But this time, my intercessor's heart was awakened. How, I wondered, would someone with a heart for intercession pray in a time before the Holy Spirit had been revealed to them? What would the disciples' prayers have been like? Did they think that was even an option for them? I found myself that day praying into that story with an intercessor's heart. Interesting. Holy.

Another experience was in the story of Peter denying Jesus 3 times in the courtyard of the Chief Priest. Again, I've never been overly sympathetic of Peter in that story. I mean really, denying him three times?! Peter, who earlier that evening took up arms against a soldier in defense of Jesus?! But once again, I found myself wondering: was Peter praying in the courtyard? Could he have been in constant dialogue with God, as we can today? Did he know that was even an option for him? Again, I found myself praying into that story from an intercessor's perspective. Interesting. Holy.

And then there was the Via Dolorosa. Jesus' walk to the crucifixion site, carrying his cross. Where would an intercessor be on that "way of suffering"? Was it possible to intercede for Jesus even as he took those painful steps? And once again, I was on my knees, with my heart for intercession broken in this story. Interesting. Holy.

Thank you, Jesus, for revealing a fresh angle to this story. This ancient, precious story that is always new. Thank you for showing me my place in this story today.

-Candice

you are here

"Wherever you go, there you are", is a saying a friend of mine likes to share. It usually is received with chuckles and shakes of the head. Somebody usually comments on how profound that statement is. It's worth a giggle and we move on.

Not that long ago, though, I put some thought into that silly saying. It was after I'd been away for a bit, and realized once again, that my thought patterns, habits, and how I respond to things go with me wherever I am. Things that bug me at home, bug me when I'm not at home. How I respond to someone at home, is mostly how I respond to them when we're away from home - both in the positive and the negative sense.

Who I am and how I do things does not really change just because I go away for a bit. So when I think I want or need to "get away from it all", often what I want to get away from goes with me.

I asked Jesus what he has to say about this. The good thing is, he is the one who really does not change. (see Hebrews 13:8), Plus, he's always with us (see Matthew 28:20). I was reminded that when I find myself in a place where I thought I was getting away from myself (make sense?!) the only place I'll find real change - or transformation - is with him.