I love reading books that are rich in description both of setting and character. My mind creates images that often become a part of me as the story unfolds. This might sound lovely, but at times it is not. It seems that images of the unlovely are what stay with me (which is why I've also become very good at skimming as I read!) This has also led me to be rather selective in what I choose to open my mind to, because I know that once something's in there, it's hard to get it out!
The same goes with movies, just on a bit more of an intense level. Because now I'm exposed to images of someone else's making, with the soundtrack to go with it. Not that long ago, I went to a movie with a few other people. The heart of the theme really was redemptive violence. It was horrible and graphic. Even with my eyes squeezed shut and my fingers in my ears for most of the movie, some images still made their way into my mind, and continue to resurface and force me to deal with them.
In Romans 12:2 it says "Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)
In a way that gives me comfort: if one of the patterns of this world is redemptive violence, then being highly sensitive to images and portrayals of that is a way of not accepting that pattern.
That still doesn't get awful images out of my head though. So one afternoon as I was going for a walk and again those images resurfaced and threatened to overtake my rational thinking, I held up some scripture in defense. I began to think through Psalm 23 (one of my meeting places) and I found myself repeating the words "he restores my soul". He restores my soul.
Restores: According to Webster, "to bring back to or put back into a former or original state: renew".
My soul: that part of me that is the essence of myself as God has created me and the place where I am in community with God through the Holy Spirit.
He restores my soul. I have this longing to be brought back to the original state of God's creation of my soul.
What if I asked for him to restore my soul on a daily basis? Or an hourly basis, because I can so quickly get off track? What if we each did that? Could we break the patterns of this world?
He restores my soul.
-Candice
