Thursday, October 15, 2009

new meeting place




Today I thought I wanted to listen to God. No actually I thought I wanted to talk to God. I have questions for him. I want to tell him what's going on inside my head. He obviously knows what's going on inside my head, even better than I do. Because these last couple of days, as I've been trying to sort out my thoughts to better cry out to him (how's that for trying to stay in control?!) he's been gently and consistently inviting me to ... sit and relax with him.

I have several meeting places in my heart that I can access when I pray. And I have not been going to any of those in the last while. It turns out God has been preparing another one for me. It speaks to the needs I have right now: warmth. Quiet. Intimacy. As I allow this image to be revealed inside my heart, and settle into it, he has been speaking to me. Scripture that has held meaning for me is resurfacing. I can speak out my questions. I can let loose what's been taking up so much space in my head.

And I'm waiting to hear what he has to say about all of this. For now I'm getting this image of intimacy and peace. I understand this to mean it's time for me to sit and experience what he has for me right now. It's a good image. Though I still have questions. I still long for clarity about my "stuff". But I can sit here with him. Because there's no place I'd rather be.

-Candice